Dear friends, it is that day again upon which I must warn you of strange happenings that befall Downtown Campbell once a year on the Friday before Halloween. Do not worry about what I am about to say.
If you are in Downtown Campbell tonight having dinner on the sidewalk and you see a horde of zombies lurching in your direction, do not panic. They're only here for the appetizers. Stay calm and eat on.
If you've already eaten all of the appetizers, you'll need to run but there is still no reason for alarm. Simply remember this sage old advice:
If you're being chased by zombies, trip someone slower than you.